Sunday, April 15, 2007

Self Improvement and Failure

Everything that happens to us in life happens on purpose. At times, one thing will lead to another and you won't be able to tell, exacly why things occur. Some people will become overwhelmed with domino-effect events, and those people usually are unable to cope well with life. People who, on the other hand, refuse to lock themselves away, cry over past heartaches, embarrassment and failures, actually treat some of the chaos of life as their TEACHERS. They find the useful lessons in every event and happening as toold of self improvement and success.

If you've watched the movie with Robin Williams as Patch Adams, you might recall a very positive message about turning what looks like bad circumstance - into good:

Hunter/Patch Adams is a medical student who failed to make it through the board exams. After months of suffering in melancholy, depression and suicidal attempts – he finally decided to seek professional help. He voluntarily admitted himself to a psychiatric ward. Months as a resident of the ward allowed him to meet many different kinds of people. He met a catatonic, a mentally retarded individual, a person suffering schizophrenia and so on. Patch found ways of treating his own ailment and finally realized he needed to 'get back on track.' He awoke one morning with the realization that after all the failure and pains he'd suffered, he still wanted, very much, to become a doctor! He developed and then carried with himself a new and positive attitude that brought him self improvement and success. He not only improved himself, but also improved the lives of people around him, greatly elevating quality of live for himself and those he came into contact with. Patch Adams did, indeed, become one of the best doctors know.

"Sure," you might say, "Patch Adams is only a MOVIE!" and this is true...however, THE MESSAGE that this movie carries need not be taken lightly - or discounted just because it is fiction. The message is important...and is the reason why the film was made in the first place - to ENLIGHTEN viewers and give them hope in the face of adversity.

So, when does self improvement become synonymous with success? Where do we start?

Well you can begin with the way you think and feel. Actions first had to take 'thought' form, so if you start thinking differently, you can then perform DIFFERENT actions that are positive in your life.

Stop thinking and feeling as if you’re a failure, because anyway you look at it, these thoughts and feelings of failure are simply not 'reality' - they are OPINIONS!

Even if you say 'but it's TRUE, the evidence is here that I have failed!'

It still stands that 'failure' is not within the essence of YOU! The evidence of something failed is simply an act or event that failed. It is not YOUR INHERENT QUALITY to have become 'a failure.'

An example:
If you spill a cup of coffee and then declare, "I am a failure for spilling that cup of coffee!" then this is not a rational statement! Who YOU ARE has nothing to do with a cup of coffee overturned or not! You are NOT coffee, spilled coffee, the cup, or any part of those things. Your movements or through whatever happened that you did - are what spilled the coffee over - that's all. Failure also has nothing to do with coffee, spilled coffee, the cup or any part of those things. Failure is an 'idea' and basically is negative opinion.

Wipe the coffee up, pick up the cup, and walk away saying, I spilled coffee and cleaned it up.

No failure, no nothing - just a cleaned up spot where the coffee once was!

Think more objectively about life and stop 'personalizing' and 'opinionizing' every little thing.

This internalizing can be hard to disengage from if you've become accustomed to it for a very long time.

Here are some suggestions for getting rid of the negative things that stand in the way of improving yourself and that might block your forward path to success:

*When others around you feel down and low about themselves - or exhibit negativity, help them move up. Don’t follow their lead - they'll pull you further down and then you could end up feeling as 'low' and as inferior as they do. If it isn't possible for you to help, DISENGAGE from them until you are feeling stronger. You can't pull someone out of a pit when your own feet are too close to the edge. You'll both fall in!

*The world is a large room for lessons, not mistakes. You're not doomed for ever, you're not stupid, and you're not a failure if you failed an exam or spilled a cup of coffee. You failed an exam because you either didn't know the material or some other reason. You spilled the cup of coffee because you set it close to the edge of the table while you were studying for the exam. You can figure out your weaknesses regarding the exam material and improve you knowledge to get a better grade next time. You can set your cup of coffee further back from the edge of the table and enjoy your coffee when you want it instead of cleaning it up next time.

*Take things one at a time. Self improvement is a PROCESS, not an instant 'cure.'

* Set meaningful and achievable goals. Self improvement won't work if your goals aren't realistic. It may not be a plausible goal to be 'like someone else,' either, so be careful of what your goals really are. Find out about yourself - your true likes, dislikes, aptitudes, and abilities - then set goals that are attainable FOR YOU.

*Become willing to accept change - that's what self-improvement is all about - changes.

There are very few overnight successes in this world, however, too many people will stop making efforts to improve because of this very statement! Hone patience as a valuable tool to see you through the process of improving yourself. Again - improving oneself is a PROCESS, not a 'cure' for what is unpleasant in our lives.

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