Sunday, April 15, 2007

Get Pro-active About Being Positive

You're not in control of anyone else - But You Can Change YOU

Are you a positive or negative person?

Listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?

Now let's say you are walking down the street with your thoughts thoughts. Do you think that those who meet up with you on the street would be able to tell what's on your mind?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Though people will not be able to tell you exactly what your thoughts are about or what you're specifically thinking, they will have an idea of how you are feeling, more or less.

Here's another question. When you walk into a room filled with friends - say, at a party - do many of the people fall to silence, as if something terrible has happened? Or does everybody already present 'perk up' as if they're all waiting for something great and exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to these questions depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful and thoughts affect your attitude, in general. The attitude you convey to others reflects withing your appearance, too – unless, of course, you are an award winning, accomplished actor.

It doesn't end here, either. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling, energizing, positive effect. The people in close proximity to a person exhibiting positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude and just by being WITH the postive person.

On the other hand, negativity will sap the energy from most other people and have a dampering effect on 'moods.' You'll also look 'gloomy,' 'glum,' and 'sad' very often when you carry around negative thoughts.

A positive attitude generally attracts, while a negative attitude repels them. An exception to the second part of that rule is that often, negative can attract, too, however, it only attracts MORE NEGATIVITY - and you don't want that.

An example of negative attracting negative:

Ever notice how sometimes negative people form together into paired situations or small groups - and the mood within the pair or group seems to be unbearably and unbreakably 'bad,' so that nobody wants to be around such people? Well - originally, one negative individual probably 'attracted' more negativity - and two or more people stuck together in negativity are a pretty powerful force. You don't want to get stuck in something like this.

In the end, whether in singles, twos or groups, the general 'mood' radiating from a negative bunch of people will eventually and strongly REPEL positive individuals and groups. Positive people just tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, you'll brew yourself up a negative attitude. If you choose to focus on things that are positive, you will exude positive behaviors, beliefs and moods.

Studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. Projecting a positive attitude helps one to manage stress and engage in better problem-solving skills versus those who have a negative attitude who often are overwhelmed with stress and see little in the way of solutions for their problems.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are - if you are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you can also help others who are around you feel the same way, too.

Of course, a negative attitude has an opposite effect. Carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way. Why would you do that to yourself as well as spread that around to other people?

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. Sometimes this is difficult to do in our times since - all round - our media sources feed us constant streams of negative data and information. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a sad state of affairs in our day and age, isn't it?

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? For starters, put some HUMOUR in your life. Go see a funny movie. Laugh and smile...it takes less physical energy, believe it or not, so smile and laugh than it does to frown, snort and grumble! Make sure you INCLUDE FUN THINGS into your daily routine. Play with your children more if you have them, Phone up a friend just to tell them a joke and that way you can both enjoy the benefits of laughing and smiling. Take an active role in providing your own positive stimuli into your life every day. This will promote good feelings, relieve stress, and also keep you motivated for a positive outlook.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from every negative thing in life, we can still carry a positive attitude as much and as often as possible. When negative or distasteful situations arise, sometimes a good way to deal with the negative parts is to attempt to assess how long we will have to deal with such a situation. Once we estimate to the best of our ability a good rule of thumb is to dedicate only a set amount of time to dealing with the negative problem - and not one minute more! Often, we get stuck in negativity and can't easily get out. We obsess sometimes on the negativity and give negative things more attention than they really deserve. Try to avoid this by setting clear boundaries for yourself about how much time you will spend thinking of or dealing with negative aspects in your life.

If positive attitude is so great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention rather than intentionally sending out negativity. Don't get me wrong here - feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong, however, dwelling in sadness, anger and gloom for too long is not healthy either. Back to the last paragraph and the suggestion that you pay attention to negative things but only set aside a certain amount of time for them. Most feelings or moods that have a negative connotation are not taken as 'sadness, anger, and gloom' by others - they're lumped under the same label called 'negativity,' and will eventually repel others. Since you cannot control every nuance about how others will understand your mood, it is best to be pro-active and get your moods in order, whenever possible, on your own.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome. Remember that almost nothing in life is 'static' (set in stone, unchanging). The very reality of the 'time' process affords the assurance that no matter how bad the problem, at some future time, the situation will be DIFFERENT. You can help to make the 'different' situation better, by inserting POSITIVE attitude as much as possible and whenever possible.

You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better coping skills for stress and has a general positive effect on those around you.

So, what's not to like about a positive attitude?

Just get right on it - Adopt one today.

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