Sunday, April 15, 2007

9 Qs To Help You Find Out "What Makes Me Tick"

As a preparation for launching self-improvement efforts, it is important that one really knows what makes one tick!

Here are 10 questions to ask yourself about "What Makes Me Tick?"

1. What is it that I REALLY want?
This is the question of the ages - one that has been asked since the beginning of time. There seem to be so many things you want to do with your life and so little time - even during a single, individual day - to be able to get things done! Believe it or not, most people when asked, "what do you really want?" cannot truly answer the question! Take steps to ensure that you can answer this question.



2. Should I really change?
Often, life is so hectic for most people that they fall into patterns of comfortable habits. You'll need to figure out if any habits are 'working' - that is - if they are conducive to your idea of 'good life,' or whether they're just habits that came about while you weren't noticing them - while you were busy with life. Figure out if there was something you 'missed' while you were busy with life - such as listening to new music (instead of relying on old favorites), seeing a different type of movie (maybe your preferences have changed in the past 2-3 years), developing friendships with different sorts of people than you normally hang out with. You might find, in new experiences, that you simply weren't paying attention for the last little while and that you really 'missed' changing something (perhaps improving upon something) about yourself or your interests - that would be better honoured or changed at this point in your life.


3. What's the bright side in all of this?
The bright side is that you'll get rid of the 'tunnel-vision' tendency that we can all get caught up in when life is just too busy around us. The 'tunnel vision' that only allows us to experience a limited portion of life! Heck - if there's a train in the tunnel - perhaps now is a good time to HOP ON IT and just see what happens! If you remain fixed to the world you've created, the perceptions of the world in your head, then THAT'S ALL THERE IS IN LIFE. Nothing else will exist except what you are willing to 'experience.' Perhaps if you can EXPERIENCE more of life BEFORE you make up your mind about how life works and how life is, you'll find an incredible BRIGHT SIDE of life that you never knew possible before. You won't know if you don't catch that train!

4. Am I comfortable with what I'm doing?
We are often trained, from childhood to EXPECT to have to do 'unpleasant tasks' in order to receive future rewards and benefit. Though this training isn't inherently 'bad,' over long periods of time, it can very easily outweigh our responses to OUR OWN NEEDS of comfort and health. Figure out whether most of your 'tasks' within a day are 'mechanically performed without question' - due to this early childhood training - or whether you have good reason to STOP doing certain things that are not benefitting you in a healthy way. In the very least - start questioning WHY you perform certain routine tasks. (Some tasks are necessary - you can't quit doing EVERYTHING, either...but for the things you can't cut out - maybe you can put a different 'spin' on them - do them a different way - and see how that works for you).


5. Have I done enough for myself?
You may not be taking proper care of balancing your 'need to do - general' list with your 'need to do for me' list. Discontentment is rampant in society. Work out YOUR DISCONTENTMENT in healthy ways.....FIRST - by being honest and figuring out what you are displeased with in life. This is another area that (especially North Americans) people have trouble even identifying for themselves. Sure, people say they are discontented with government, work, society and a host of other things - while often, they are really dissatisfied about 'where they are in life' - and not everything is the fault of the government, work and society, etc. The fault is more rightly placed with PEOPLE NOT KNOWING WHAT THEY TRULY WANT. You see - you CANNOT GET what you want, anyway - if you do not know what you're going after! Make sure to enact small favours FOR YOURSELF. Provide yourself with 'beneficial' self-talk (Congratulate yourself at the end of the workday...just for having put in a full day, say it to yourself, too, "I congratulate myself for the work I've done today"). Take 5 minutes each day to just 'be with yourself' and acknowledge accomplishments of the day.

6. Am I happy at where I am today?
Think about what your dreams were 5 years ago. If too few elements from your dreams of 5 years ago are recognizable in your life...you may have gotten discouraged somewhere along the way and abandoned your dreams. Start bringing back an element at a time, where possible - or - at least give yourself PERMISSION to dream again. Maybe you need to dream 'new dreams' to help fit your aspirations into the life you have now.



7. How much could I have?
Many people unwittingly RESTRICT themselves from the things they COULD HAVE in life. Sometimes they are told by others that they don't deserve certain things. Sometimes they aren't really willing to WORK FOR certain things. Find out if either of these conditions apply to what YOU do or do not have...then CHANGE whatever is necessary in order to gain the most out of life. Sometimes people aren't willing to WORK FOR certain things in life - not because they are lazy - but because they either don't really know what they want...or, somehow, they feel at odds with what they THINK they want (what they really want is really quite different than what they've allowed themselves to THINK, on the surface, that they want). In this case, a deeper instinct is telling them not to work hard for what they THINK they want because they don't truly want to acquire that 'something.' The key to figuring out how much you could have in life - is to figure out YOU...get to know yourself better.

8. What motivates me?
It's an answer you have to find out for yourself. Other people might mention what they think should motivate you - but only you can really know. In fact, there have probably already been so many opinions from other people about the topics of 'you' and 'motivation,' that you've adopted parts of someone else's motivations - which might not 'fit' with you at all.

9. What Really Makes ME Tick?
Having worked through the previous 8 questions, you should have a much better idea of what makes you tick than you had before. If you still don't know, don't fret - just try working through the questions again - there are only 9 in total!

If you truly DID HAVE TROUBLE with identifying certain 'wants' 'needs' and 'dreams,' then perhaps you can try actually taking a half hour to an hour - DEDICATING TIME TO YOURSELF to sit down with pen and paper and answer these questions. Many people find that WRITING things out is more helpful than just reading and pondering over material. Even though many people are fully capable of only reading and pondering, when they actually write things down, they come up with different answers! Usually the written answers are more deeply felt, and give a much better conclusion about 'self' than with just reading and thinking.


Seriously, it is not a very good idea to launch forward with 'self-improvement' methods if you don't, first, know the answers to the 9 questions given here. Believe it or not - a small number of self-improvement techniques (usually behavior-type changes) can actually WORK without actually being GOOD for you! In this, you can actually develop a REALLY NEW, GOOD HABIT that makes you miserable or that doesn't FIT for you! With certain behavioral modifications, it may not matter about your belief or not concerning the modification. If you REPEAT the technique, you can end up with 'good habits' and behaviors that end up being UNWANTED, after all. This would occur if you're not really SURE about your wants, needs, and self - but push on ahead anyway, assuming that whatever you do to improve will turn out alright.

In the end, if you're planning on making changes, according to what you find out by answering these questions, take small steps with your changes in the beginning. Change is often uncomfortable at first. Going from bad habits to good, once we are able to determine what we really want and what would really be good for ourselves - is still 'change,' so just be aware of anything in your emotions, behaviors or thinking that might become unduly uncomfortable for you. Don't be TOO CAUTIOUS - but don't be TOO DRASTIC, either if you're working on yourself ALL BY YOURSELF.

If anything DOES become a concern for you (great discomfort) - return to these or other kinds of "Self Awareness" questions. You can never know yourself TOO WELL!

These types of questions will ALWAYS be PERTINENT - because as you grow and age, your perceptions change, your viewpoints change, your knowledge of the world changes. Certainly the way you think about yourself and your circumstances will change as well.

Did you figure out What Makes You Tick?

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